Arise! Shine!

For your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. Isaiah 60.1
Here we are in the season of Epiphany and the Epicenter is back online. After a bit of a winter break, new posts are on the way! As promised in December, I want to follow up on our last class with Dr. George and give you his recommended reading list for further study and reflections. But first let me direct your attention to Dr. George's blog. The blog links to a great essay written by Dr. George on dreams. Once you are at the blog, look on the right side of your screen under "Categories" and then click on "Dream Interpretation." Enjoy!

And now for Dr. George's recommended reading...
On Dreams
Some Must Watch, While Some Must Sleep by William C. Dement
This text covers the laboratory research on sleep and dreams in a most readable way.
The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud
The classic on dreams. Dreams are in italics throughout the book and the fascinating psychoanalytic interpretations follow.

Inner Work by Robert A. Johnson
Half of this book is about interpreting your own dreams.

Memories, Dreams and Reflections by C.G. Jung
Dreams: A Way to Listen to God by Morton T. Kelsey
Kelsey shows that dreams are an integral part of the spiritual life. His book also contains many practical tips for working with one's own dreams.

Dreams and Healing by John A. Sanford
Using case studies this book shows how to arrive at a concise statement of a dream's message, and contains an excellent section on working with one's own dreams.


For couples

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work : A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John M. Gottman

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: and How You Can Make Yours Last by John M. Gottman
Three of Gottman’s popularly-written descriptions of his research on couples in which couples were video-taped from 9am to 9pm on weekends. The results enabled Gottman to predict which couples will probably divorce based on their interaction patterns. Shows how marriages fail and what can help them succeed. Any of his books is good.

How Can I Get Through to You: Reconnecting Men and Women by Terrence Real
Filled with actual case studies from his couples counseling. (Real is also the author of I Don't Want to Talk About It, on men’s depression). He says because of men’s socialization not to deal with feelings, women hold the key to helping men open up, change and get what they need from their relationship and their life. Respects both male and female viewpoints.

The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller
Explains the devastating results of narcissistic parenting: selfish parents create selfish children. But selfishness may come out in caretaking of others with expectations that they will then take care of you. Lots of good examples and case studies by this psychoanalyst. Shows how important it is for each member of the couple to understand their own wounding childhood experiences and how these play into their relationship.

Between People by John A. Sanford
A concisely written little book on couples’ communication using Jungian ideas and vivid examples from Sanford’s counseling of couples and individuals.

Please Understand Me by David Kiersey
Gain self-understanding and acceptance of your mate’s differences from you through Jung’s psychological typology. The typology test is included in the book, or you can take it free at www.humanmetrics.com.

Gifts Differing by Isabel Briggs-Meyers
Title taken from St. Paul (Romans 12:6). The classic and readable book on Jung’s theory of psychological type by the originator of a Jungian typology test, the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator. Gives you a basic understanding of the system of categorizing people’s personality preferences (thinking-feeling, sensing-intuition), plus applications to relationships, work life, etc.

You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen
Analyzes men’s and women’s diverse conversational styles to understand the why they disagree so much in daily life. (Probably a precursor to John Gray’s Mars and Venus.)

Adult Attachment by Judith A. Feeney and Patricia Noller

Marriage: Dead or Alive by Adolf Guggenbuhl-Craig

Fair Fighting website
Because we all need help fighting fairly!

Little League dilemmas

You are the manager of a Little League team that has been selected to go to the Little League World Series. There are 25 players on your team, but only 15 are allowed to go the World Series according to Little League rules. What criteria do you use to determine which 10 players won't go with their teammates to play in the World Series?

In his second lecture, Dr. George gave us this problem work out in groups based on our personality type. Using the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (see post "Dr. George" from December 10), Dr. George divided us into two groups: Thinking (T) and Feeling (F). He explained that the T and the F are the parts of our personality we use to make decisions. The answers each group came up with were exactly what Dr. George predicted. The T's made their decision based on logic, and the F's made their decision based on care for the feelings of each player. Fascinating!

Carl Jung's theory of personality, which is what this group exercise was designed to teach us a little bit about, is actually quite complex. Dr. George spoke of Jung's close relationship with Freud, the end of their relationship, and Jung's departure from Freud's theories and the development of his own theories, namely, what Jung calls the Collective Unconscious. The Collective Unconscious is itself quite complex. Dr. George described it as the thing that connects us to all other people across time and space. Sounds to me a bit like what we call "the communion of saints." (click here to learn more about Jung's theories)

Regarding how God fits into all of this, Dr. George taught us about Jung's theory of the Self: the truest, most centered place in our personality, free of defense mechanisms, persona (the part of ourselves we allow the world to see), the ego, etc. He said the Self is what lives on eternally. It is the part of us that is not constructed or mutable but rather the part of us that is the Imago Dei, the image of God.

I am reminded of the Gospel lesson from this past Sunday, the second Sunday of Advent. We read Matthew 3.1-12, but particularly verse 12 where John the Baptist is quoted as saying, "His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor and will gather his wheat into the granary; but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire." The chaff is an important part of the wheat. As the wheat grows and ripens the chaff protects it, but there comes a time when the wheat matures and no longer needs the protection the chaff can offer. I think of the chaff as the parts of our personality that are constructed, mutable, and help us get along in the world. But this isn't our true self, our Imago Dei. The wheat as the Imago Dei, the Self. It is the part of us that is fruitful and maturing. It is what God has created and called good in each of us and it is the part of us that endures!

COMING SOON: Dr. George's suggested reading list for further study. Stay tuned!

Dr. George

Our Advent series: The Conscious Life, a series of lectures by Dr. George Lough is off to a great start! In the first lecture on Wednesday, December 5, Dr. George began us thinking in new ways about our dreams, our interior life, and our true self vs. the false self we construct to make our way in the world. Dr. George teaches with humor and from his own life experience and so the lectures are fun and connections easily made between his stories and our own experiences. We had a lively discussion with lots of laughter, and, perhaps the best of all, was the time spent in conversation with other Epiphany church members.

Dr. George also recommended, for those interested, a personality test based on Jungian typology. Click here for a free online test or here for a test a minimal cost. Also, you can find your own online test by googling "kiersey temperament sorter" or myers-briggs type indicator". Good luck! (Speaking of websites, click here for Dr. George's website or click here for Dr. George's blog.)

Hope you can join us this coming Wednesday, December 12. See upcoming events to the right for details.